No I'm not dead, just lazy. Two months have passed again and life is still good in Thailand. I have been living a fairly normal life out here as the financial implications of earning a Thai salary have finally kicked in. I'm living in a studio flat (that's the fancy term for a big room) in Nateetong Palace. It sounds grand, it ain't but it's kitted out quite nicely and it's cheap.

I do have the odd few bits of news for you. The other day I was attacked by a light saber weilding policeman. I was on the back of a motorbike taxi doing about 30 when we came to a police road block. The copper with a big flashing baton signalled us to pull in. For some reason my driver wasn't in the mood for a chat and after initially slowing down, veered wildly away from the policeman and hit the throttle. This prompted the copper to run into the road and swing his baton at us. My driver ducked and I would have caught it full in the face had I not blocked it with my hand. It bloody hurt but what can you do apart from give him a dirty look?

I recently woke up with a dog in my bed. Now I'm not talking about and ugly lady for it was a canine that was licking my face which prompted me to actually fall out of bed. I do worry myself sometimes. It was admittedly a very cute little clean puppy and he befriended me immediately. We went for some breakfast together and had some light lunch during which he regailed me with tails of sniffing bottoms and I felt a connection between us. That was until the randy little sod got hold of some lady dog and disappeared into the distance never to be seen again.

So the title of this entry is called gig management. I previously mentioned gigs which are basically ladies who don't want you as a boyfriend, don't want any money, know that you see other women but still regularly call for a night on the tiles. It's a fairly fun, if shallow life to lead but it certainly has it's ups and downs. It always starts out as great fun when a variety of women say things like "I'll only ask you once but will you take me home tonight" and it's difficult to not walk around with a hint of a swagger kissing the guns when this happens. The problem occurs when they all turn up at the same venue at pretty much the same time, something which happened to me a few weeks ago. 3 ladies decided to descend on me and one of them even had her mum in tow. This was obviously a tricky situation but I took it on the chin like a man by ducking out of the bar and sprinting down the road.

One lady is called Nut. I wish she was older than me because when someone is older you adress them with Pii i.e Pii-nut and her youth has robbed me of the chance for mockery. Sa is the hottest but also the weirdest of the bunch. Incredibly sexy but slightly unbalanced. As recompense for her shoddy present buying skills she said that I could take nude photos of her on my Birthday but then didn't even turn up. I bloody carried that camera round all night! Tata made a recent appearance but that peetered out after she disapeared down to Phuket to get a nose job. Por was out on my birthday and things are really cool between us now. She's getting married next year to a Danish man.

Enough of this sleaze. Photos will be posted soon. Back home I must add my congratulations to Murph and Dave on their engagement and Brad's amazing performance in the World Triathlon champion. The days of "I'm more of a smoker than a drinker" are now long gone. "I'm more of a trainer than a drinker" is far more appropriate now so well done on a great achievment. Did you have to propose to Dave in your lycra shorts though?

How's work G?