Hey Folks

Here we go again, back in Bangers and it's been the same old story of drinking far too much, losing to women at pool and getting my arse pinched by ladyboys. It was quite an interesting journey from Manchester to Doha, mainly due to me sitting next to an Indian transexual chef from Leeds called Anil. He was a fine travelling partner and he gave me some good advice on how to pull men in various parts of the world! Apparently if you are in West Yorkshire and are in the mood for some sordid back door muckery, butch and manly is the way to go whereas in India you should try the limp wristed arse wiggling approach. This guy had several stories about Indian customs officials taking him into back rooms to perform extra searches and he said he wasn't looking forward to immigration. In Doha I got out the new laptop to kill some time and instantly had a group of about 10 kids as an audience, all pushing various keys on it and generally fighting over who could hold my mouse, oh how I have missed bizarre foreign airports.

Getting back into Bangkok the heat was as intense as always (39 degrees C) but I had forgotten about the smells which get up your nose and fill your whole head with sewage. On my first day back I am ashamed to say that I got back on the Por rollercoaster. It was a brief ride in every sense of the word and we're back to sitting at opposite ends of the bar now. No more I promise you, no more! It was really cool to see some old faces and I've had many "don't I know you" little moments. A couple of ladies are trying to set me up with their sisters and friends, even Nok's on the case and I will let you know if any of these acts of charity come to anything!

It's been Songkran (Thai new year) for the last 3 days, full on waterfighting and getting covered in wet clay or if you are really unlucky prickly heat powder which makes your face throb. I love this festival so much, good natured chaos abounds and it's great to cool off in during the height of the hot season. Had a slightly shady incident yesterday when I was fighting with 4 little kids until one of them ran at me, slipped and really badly smashed his head on the concrete. So I'm sat in some street somewhere, craddling a screaming 5 year old looking for his mum with a lot of Thai people staring at me. No one did anything so after about 20 minutes with the tears finally dying down a bit I had no option but to walk away. The difference between the western world of Khaosarn and just a couple of streets away is marked. On Khaosarn it really is a free for all with everyone owning high powered pistols and going for the all important head shot. I was sat with a lad the other day who took great amusement in blasting peoples pad thai off their plates as they were taking their first mouthfull. I have to admit it was quite funny watching them noodles fly. Off Khasarn you have to be much more reserved and I only aimed my water cannon at peoples stomachs which still had them doubling up but giving me an appreciative smile that I hadn't damaged their eyesight. I found myself drinking with a couple of Thai people who literally invited me over and pored me a huge glass of whiskey, just amazing hospitality. The man, who is apparently Thai mafia, was a top chap and always made sure my glass was full. The girl, who was amusingly called Porn was a fine lady and I hope to see her again.

I put happy but hungry as I've been struggling with the food since I've been back. I went out for a meal with Por, her sister (who is now giving me the eye, that could stir things up a bit) and a girl called Lek and they ordered the usual explosive delicacies which had me reaching for the fire extinguisher and generally wishing that toilet paper was made out of ice. Since then I've hardly eaten a thing and have been surviving on chicken fried rice. Give me a ham and cheese toastie anyday!

I'm gonna leave it there for now as the latrine is calling once more. No photos yet as its impossible to take a picture without someone throwing a bucket of water over your head and I don't feel like chinning a small child for ruining my Fujipix 5000. Still not sure what to do next, in fact still not sure if I have made the right decision to come here again. I think it will get better once I get a flat away from Khaosarn and stop living out of a rucksack.

Nick