Alas my friends, it is the end. After 2 years, 4 months and 9 days I am finally drawing my trip to a close and returning home. Maybe one day I will travel again, but this chapter has finished thus meaning the end of these online diary entries. How empty your lives will be.

I hope you have enjoyed reading as much as I have enjoyed writing. The idea of the diary was never to change the world, it wasn't even to really keep you informed of what I was doing or feeling, just to share the funnier side of my trip with you, to shed a little light on your lives as it were. Hopefully you have seen the...

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Oooooooh, this is the second to last entry (just in case anyone thought the title was some reference to a NASA landing or something). Just two more days left and then home, although I am flying with Jihad Airlines with a changeover in Baghdad, so if I go missing give Osama a quick call and ask him what the crack is.

Still in Bangkok, but now - as a treat due to not being able to leave Bangkok (we've now been granted legal citizenship) - we've moved from our four-walled fan-cooled kennel to a room with a balcony, aircon, HOT shower and cable TV... just in time for the Champions League final ...

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So Kaori got progressively worse after the last diary entry. We went to the pharmacy and they convinced us to spend a small fortune on an assortment of multi-coloured pills, she got worse still and yes, just like last time in Bangkok, I got to accompany my travelling companion to hospital. Before going we got Kaori's insurance documents together, only to discover her insurance had run out the day before - what are the fucking chances? Anyway, to get to hospital we had to get a taxi, and you'd think asking to be taken to the hospital with an obviously ill girl (she looked like shit) by the side...

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Okay, back in Bangkok now, where it all began (erm, excluding the 3-days in Singapore). I was feeling all nostalgic and sentimental and stuff, and we've just moved to a guesthouse (the bedbugs, constant smell of diesel and soaring temperature put us off the last place) next door to the last guesthouse I stayed in with Matt way back in March 2006. There I was, feeling all emotional about our last few days, remembering Matt's famous "I'm going to the room coz I feel ill" and ending up in hospital story, when Kaori pipes up and says "I'm going to the room coz I feel ill". Coincidence? Who knows. All I know is if I go back to the room and Kaori's ended up in hospital nobody is ever going to travel with me again.

Okay, not much more to report & I really should check on Kaori. Here's some photo's of the Laos tubing and happy shaking...

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So there I was, back in Vang Vieng, home of the float-down-a-river-in-a-tube-whilst-drinking corporation. Laid in a hammock. Beautiful scenery. Beautiful weather. Beautiful girl next to me. Feeling very relaxed. What was I supposed to do? So I ordered myself a banana happy shake...

Now for those of you who don't remember, they're not called "happy" because they come in a smiley cup. Oh no. This "happy" means they're laced with weed or mushrooms or whatever other narcotic the (smack-head) chef decides to add. I started off drinking it slowly, as I'm not a big previous user of illegal substan...

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